Anonymous said: Do you ever worry about jobs finding pics of you doing burlesque stuff online?
Yeah, most social media can’t reproduce my beautiful nudes at the pixel rate my butt requires, so I’m considering just paper clipping high quality copies to all future resumes.
But srsly no because I am not at all delusional enough to think anyone cares.
1:00 am • 22 October 2014 • 1 note
I did an Eva Green inspired burlesque to a Katy Perry song last month because I always thought The Dreamers needed more upbeat pop music.
12:46 am • 22 October 2014 • 4 notes
With my Polylust Burlesque babes at Orlando Pride! Original photo by
Can cross “wear leather shorts to Pride” off my gay checklist. Now to work on “watch the complete Viola Davis canon” and “go on a Turner Classic cruise.”
12:29 am • 21 October 2014 • 16 notes
joaniepepperoni replied to your photo : And other specifically beige scents such as: The…
haha! that is a very oddly specific scent, good observation!
Eat my beautifully-rendered-by-a-working-artist ass.
11:29 pm • 20 October 2014 • 7 notes
And other specifically beige scents such as:
The two-week old receipt from Subways you found in your wallet.
A coin that just fell.
A warm glass of Sprite.
The number 4.
Cobb salad with too much corn.
Cherries inside your toilet.
11:18 pm • 20 October 2014 • 36 notes
Abercrombie called me today while I was giving myself a whore’s bath at Panera (more like concubine because I set up that handicapped stall like a Hilton) and I had to be like “I know I’m a perfect fit for your body shaming company but this is not a good time.”
6:15 pm • 20 October 2014 • 12 notes
I am such uncouth trash that I stared at an ad on Instagram for a free haircut that said “only the chicest may apply” for like 5 minutes reading it as chice-est and wondering what that meant and if I qualified. Only the chice-est may apply.
12:46 pm • 20 October 2014 • 9 notes
The final installment of my crazy Q&A trilogy!!! Will I acknowledge the Aziz Ansari poster on my wall? Will I pretend I’m not crying? Watch and find out none of the answers to these q’s!
12:46 am • 16 October 2014 • 8 notes