Recently my grandmother found out I’m queer. Her response was to tell me that she disapproves of me living with my “friend” (i.e. my girlfriend) and that I should give up my vile queer ways and become a Christian (Lol). She even sent me a bible. Here are its remains, which I made into black-out poetry.
Poem 1: Bisexual (from Leviticus 19:9)— “Have sexual relations with her. Have sexual relations with him. Have sexual relations with both a woman and a man. Have sexual relations with yourself. Vomit on everyone who does not respect you.”
Poem 2:Fisting (from Judges 8:5)— “water/ lap the water/ drink/go down to drink/your hands/go down/I give into your hands/go down/encouraged/down/on the seashore/the whole hand/your hand/inside/I get to the edge/and shout/grasping/crying out/Beth/Beth/Beth/Beth/Beth/God/I came”
Poem 3:A Letter to the Exiles (from Jeremiah 28:13) — “Ze said: ‘Do not let lies name you, nor harm your heart. Gather. Raise the sword against them. They scorn and reproach, for they have not listened— again and again have not listened.’ “
Poem 4:Child (from Ezekiel 16:22) — “Your father and your mother rubbed salt in. No one looked on you with pity or had compassion enough for you, for on the day you were born you were despised. Live! Grow. I looked at you and saw you were enough.”
Poem 5:Father (from Ezekiel 16:22) — “You never adored us. You became very angry. You took some out on us. Your sons and daughters were not enough? You slaughtered— in all your detestable practices— our youth.”
Poem 6:Misandry (from Acts 27:41) — “Dangerous men should be broken.”
I work at a flip flop store and every night I close I’m supposed to send my manager an email with how much money we made and a list of any brands customer’s request that we don’t carry. Every couple of days I’ve been sneaking in Shaq’s and if I keep this up long enough there’s a chance we’ll buy a bunch of Shaq’s and try to sell them. I know this will only hurt me in the long run because no one wants to buy Shaq’s but omg what if I singlehandedly make Shaq’s a thing again?
I was feeling bummed out today (for no reason, as per usche) so I opened one of the four message in a bottle necklaces my best friend gave me for my birthday and the note inside read: “You can make anyone laugh. I couldn’t live without you.” That’s exactly the level of crazy that I need in all of my compliments.